Momfidence Principle 4: I Am Rooted In Grace
Once heard a priest define God’s grace as, “The gift God makes available to us to help us lean
into our divine nature as His children, and to help us live out all the virtues in a way that is
improbable, if not impossible, without the gift of grace.”
I really appreciated this reflection. When I heard it, it called to my heart. How easy it is in the
non-stop daily life of motherhood to forget that we are given such an amazing gift, that allows us
to move beyond our human limitations, stubbornness, and fears, and allows us to call upon God’s grace at any time?
It’s so important to realize that it really is ANY time. I think many of us think we can only ask for
God’s grace when we are at church or have a special prayer time, or when we are in a terrible
crisis. But we can ask God for His grace at any moment, in any place.
I have learned to do this to keep me calmer, saner, and more capable of being the person, and
the mom, I want to be in all those daily challenges motherhood throws at me.
For me, the prayer usually goes something like this, “Lord, I need your help. This situation is
making me (fill in feeling here: angry, frustrated, overwhelmed, heartbroken, confused, ______).
Please help me be the person you want me to be in this situation. Please show me what to do
and what virtues you want me to practice right now so that I, and the other people in the
situation, feel closer to you and your love.”
Then I take some time to listen and think. Sometimes a fully formed solution will come to mind.
More often, I will just know inside that I have to do one little thing differently, or exercise one
virtue in that moment that I wasn’t in the mood to exercise before I prayed. For instance,
perhaps I suddenly remember to place my child’s well-being before my own frustrations, leading
me to remember to speak more kindly, and work on small steps we can take together to improve
Maybe I’m struggling with balancing everyone’s crazy schedules and how overwhelmed I can
feel by having to juggle it all. In that moment I can ask the Creator of the universe, the God who
created the cycles of night and day and the turning of seasons, to lend me a hand in balancing
my life and bringing order and peace to my family life. Getting a God’s eye view of my family’s
scheduling demands gives me a far better perspective and helps me remember that the creator
of everything is also very good at the details. Sometimes this prayer allows me to get my head
around simply taking one thing at a time. Other times God helps me take the initiative to call the
family together to actually map out our schedules and make a plan together to help it all run
Whatever the situation, when I remember to stay rooted in the grace of God by actually turning
to him and asking for His guidance and help, I am able to exercise virtues and skills that had
previously not been available to me when I was dealing only from a place of overwhelm.
I have often been made aware of others having this experience of grace as well. Countless
times callers to my radio show More2life will begin the call by saying, “This is amazing! I’ve been
going through a tough time, and I told God I needed help. Then I turned on the radio and your
topic today is exactly what I’m needing to hear!
These times are always an amazing blessing to anyone who experiences them. I know
personally that it is possible to experience them more frequently when we practice tuning into
them more by talking to God throughout the day, especially in the mundane times. For instance,
if I am folding laundry and I’m not exactly enthusiastic about one more load, if I just
conversationally admit it to God in my thoughts, I am often suddenly granted the joy of being
grateful for having clothes to fold and loved ones to care for, and then the chore seems easier. I
might consider this smarmy if I was just chastening myself about my attitude. But I’m not. I’m
actually experiencing gratitude bubbling up in me as a gift because God is responding to me
having brought my feelings to Him.
Of course beyond the daily situations, we can all experience truly tragic, difficult times in life. I
am not saying that if we just talk to God we suddenly get the immediate and exact answer to
these kinds of times. But I can say, from many such personal experiences, that when I am
exercising this practice I am much more able to see the small gifts that can console my heart, or
follow promptings that help me take even small steps toward improvement.
The more we root ourselves in talking to God as a constant, compassionate companion, and
tune our awareness to His responses, the more easily we recognize His loving, guiding
response of grace in our lives.